Friday, August 7, 2009
Being a pure vegetarian is like throwing a saucer at God for putting you in his green earth. It’s an annihilation of mankind.
When God made Sundays he simultaneously made chickens. He wanted human beings to be adventurous and decided to give us the raw product via hens. We make him proud by our innovation. You want to go to heaven without dying?
Ans : 2 kebabs a day. Nirvana!
Even chicks are derived from the word chicken! That’s how highly we boys rate you slim sleek suave svelte women. And for once, trust me when I tell you, that is as big a compliment as it gets.
Chicken is what the flute was to Krishna, war is to Hitler and music is to A. R. Rahman. It is the single soul quenching piece of ambrosia. When mankind roasted hen and in serendipity founded chicken, he stumbled upon the answers to living with harmony and peace.
I assure you that if a vegetarian eats a Kebab, he/she/it will pluck their hair, cut open the scalp, drill the skull and knock your brains with a sledge hammer specially shipped in from the piracy market in China, to not have eaten God’s very own solution to the present day humanitarian crisis.
I mean, it takes a total of 3 hours and 3 steps to solve the crisis in North Korea:
1. Order a million KFC chicken legs.
2. Load it into a Concorde.
3. Drop it in the North Korean president’s humble abode and all over North Korea.
And then send an e- mail or post a comment on the king’s blog asking him if he wants more?
You want the war between India and Pakistan to get over? Kill the chickens and hold them for ransom (read chickens) END OF STORY!
Chicken touches our souls and relieves us from the pain of our daily work. It has the power to sway human emotions. When I tried to take a small bite from my friend’s chicken, I got a nasty look that wanted to throw me into the dungeons of hell (you don’t get food there, let alone chickens). It’s a matter of life and death. The economy of our very own country depends not on our stock markets but the shares (pun intended) of Chicken consumed by mortal souls. The varying amount of Chicken consumed makes or breaks butchers. A world without Chicken would be like a world without land or a world without water. Chicken teases us and cajoles us. Chicken is the panacea to life.
P.S : Dedicated to (pure)(egg eating)(at times fish)Vegetarians.